Category Archives: solitude

Calm from the Storm

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We can’t escape the wind and rain, even in this beachside forest. But the trees take most of the gale and protect us from sideways rain. As often happens, the adverse weather conditions discouraged other hikers and have apparently grounded the helicopters and other machines of Juneau’s tourism industry. So instead of airplane noise, we hear the surf-like roar of wind through the old growth canopy and hollow pops of raindrops hitting broadleaf devil’s club and skunk cabbage. In between gusts, raven’s clucks carry over the forest.

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Approaching the beach during a break in the windstorm, I look forward to a chance to do some bird watching—maybe spot an oystercatcher or one of the belted king fishers diving on a fish. But the bay is empty of birds and even waves. Rather than disappointment, I feel peace—the calm that only an empty, quiet, wild place can deliver.

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Respectful Silence

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Like ravens, gulls, and eagles, you can hear middle school boys in the woods long before you see them. A coven of them spreads out from a fire ring. All but the one sitting by a weak fire are soon out bouncing around the old growth, shouting at each other as the last of the crows and gulls abandon the nearby beach. The boys in the woods all wear bright colored rain gear and, to be honest, smiles.

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Aki and I came early to this forest for a quiet, if wet walk through forest and bird song to the beach. I also hoped to bird watch. On our last visit I spotted a small raft of northern shoveler ducks swimming past a stalking heron and godwit. When we break out of the woods today a formation of goldeneye ducks flies away in a panic, leaving the near in waters empty.

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I think of the Tlingit elder that once taught me how to make an octopus bag. She also taught my five-year-old daughter the raven and canoe dances. She told the young dancers to keep a respectful silence on our beaches and in our woods. “Don’t even skip rocks,” she said. Even that shows disrespect to wild things.

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Rain, Ice, Rubble

ice.jpgRain and slick-ice trails must be keeping everyone else out of the Gold Creek valley. Aki doesn’t appear to notice the solitude. For a dog with sensitive nose and an inquisitive nature like her, this mid-winter thaw is magic—as stimulating as Disneyland or an overturned meat truck. Nose impaired and cocooned in waterproofs against the rain, I look inward, rather than out today.

aki.jpgWe cross a young forest growing over the rubble of hydraulic mining. A century ago, I couldn’t walk over the wasteland created here by men moiling for gold. The old growth forest they destroyed fed hunters and gathers and offered a peaceful place for the rest. But the gold extraction efforts that destroyed it provided jobs for the people in the nescient Juneau town. Without them, there would be no Juneau. Without them, I might still be living in California. I guess I owe them a debt but refuse to share responsibility for their destructive acts.ice 1.jpg

Solstice

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This morning the sun popped unencumbered by clouds from the waters of Gastineau Channel. In minutes the marine layer swallowed it. I watched from Chicken Ridge, smug in my modern-man knowledge that today’s winter solstice will end the time of diminishing light. Men without that knowledge once prayed to their pagan gods to stop the disappearance of light. On this day they’d be kneeling next to me in the snow. I can almost hear their beggar’s voices call down channel to the newly risen sun.

eagle river

I call down channel with excited praise for the sunrise’s beauty. Later I take the little dog north of Juneau where fresh snow covers one of our favorite ski trails. We start skiing just after noon and find sunset colors already streaking clouds above the Eagle River. We don’t need sunshine to brighten the forest—the new fallen snow that covers the forest floor and weighs down the trees seems to radiate peace and mild light. Such peace in the forest almost makes you believe that there can be peace on earth.

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What calms me has the opposite effect on the little poodle mix. Lacking the patience to trot by my side, Aki tears out and back, sometimes leaping so high that no feet touch the snow.

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Surprises

beachThe appearance of bare pavement on Chicken Ridge didn’t surprise me this morning. Yesterday a warm, wet storm melted our beautiful blanket of snow off the ridge. This morning I hung up the snow shovel and took the little dog to one of the North Douglas trails.

The storm hosed off this area too so we had easy walking on a thin layer of melting snow. The fresh tracks of a wolf that had climbed up a seldom-used side trail surprised me. Hunters have been complaining about a wolf pack hammering the deer on Douglas Island. Is this the track of one of their scouts? I can’t find the tracks of a panicked deer or rabbit.

rainbow         A large raft of goldeneye ducks and scoters move nervously away from shore when as we reach the beach. Behind them a rainbow arcs up and away from Shaman Island and then fades to gray.

whale         The day’s last surprise comes on the ride home when we spot a lone humpback whale feeding near Smuggler’s Cove. It is rare to see any whales this time of year. All the fertile humpbacks are in Maui or on their way to that breeding ground. But on a December day a year or so ago I spotted one in Smuggler’s Cove. Today’s whale is too far away to photograph and only shows itself briefly each time before disappearing like the rainbow into the gray. But like the lone wolf tracks, each plume of vapor it expels provides proof that this place is still pure enough for wild animals.

Beauty Carved by God, Not Man

frost feathersAki and I came to this trail at the end of the North Douglas Highway because it is cold and sunny, and the lack of wind last night has allowed frost feathers to form on the trailside plants. We arrived now because the morning sun always brings our beauty in frost feathers. In truth Aki, the miniature poodle mix cares little for visual beauty. The strong sun hurts her eyes. But she has a ball charging up and down the boardwalk trail, sounding like a galloping horse.

Big treesThe below freezing weather has firmed up a normally muddy trail along Peterson Creek, which leads out of the frost ferry land and into a solemn mixed alder and hemlock forest. No ice covers the creek so it reflects the grey and white trunks of alders that lean for sunlight over the water. I crunch over fat bladed grass, drained of all color but winter tan, covered with frost yet to be lit by the sun, to the edge of an oxbow bend where the dark shadows of alders crisscross the reflection of a bright winter sky.

creek reflectionsIt feels a holy place, a sanctuary. Like a dark corner of Chartres Cathedral, I can stand in this calm world of grey and search the shadows for beautiful shapes, carved by God, not man; see the colors of redemption shine through the prisms of frost feathers, not stained glass.AKI

Hunting Beauty, Not Ducks

McGinnisIt is hard to know whether to look up or down. Our first cold snap has crisped up the trail, freezing up the muddy bits and decorating sand bars with frost feathers. Most of the moraine lakes are completely covered by a thin sheet of opaque ice that just manages to catch the mountains’ reflections. So while Aki sniffs and pees I look down at the frost and up at the white covered mountains looking spiffy in the late afternoon sun.

frostThere still be some open water because we hear a shotgun fired nearby. Somebody is taking one last shot at the ducks before they move out to salt water. I think I heard the hunter’s comic sounding duck call when we circled one of the lakes. Without the hunter, we would have silence. Even the squirrels are mum. Maybe that is what I like the best about winter weather. We usually have silence, especially during heavy snow to go with the beauty.Thunder reflection

Fourth Anniversary

AkiFour Octobers ago I made the first post for this blog. It was on a wet October 9th. Aki and I walked up the Fish Creek Trail and found a land gone to rest after the summer salmon spawn. That is how we find the creek and its forest today. No salmon hold in the creek. No decay perfumes the air. Rain-swollen creek waters have flushed out the bodies of spawned out dogs, pinks and kings. No bears hunt for meals.

We have to step over fresh eagle scat that looks like a splat of pancake batter sloshed from a mixing bowl. I hear the cry of what might be an eagle or even an osprey. I want it to be an osprey and remember Kathleen Dean Moore advising me and others in a Skagway church to write like an osprey—-hover over the terrain of ideas and then dive for promise. Moore told us to struggle on the page with our catch. The struggle provides the reader meat. Today the forest provides a more corporal challenge.

sunlightThe wind-felled trunks of five or six old growth spruce block the trail near the turn around point. There, in past summers I cught salmon and once watched an otter rinse a meal in the stream. This late into the fall, I know of nothing that would justify the effort and risk of crawling over and under the tangle of sticky trunks and limbs. But, sunlight illuminates the path beyond the windfalls just before I turn back. It sparkles on the moist moss, turning it an electric green, backlights hanging strands of old man’s beard and the fine structure of ferns now the porcelain white of fall. Aki holds back but I begin the struggle that wins me a place on the other side of the downed trees. The sunlight disappears just after the little dog dashes under the downed trunks to my side.ferns

Change in the Wind

P1010481Today, unseen things on this mountain meadow bother Aki and I. Distracted by the wind that shakes elephant-eared skunk cabbage leaves, the little dog almost steps on a trail-side grouse. She doesn’t even react when the plump bird flutters to life and takes refuge in the crotch of a hemlock tree.

At first I welcome the wind because it blows away mosquitos and other bitting pests. Then it carries the sound of other hikers—-children who would rather be home watching TV than on the meadow; barking dogs; adults sharing the events of the past week. On the now friendly wind, Aki hears promises of the caress and maybe a chance to chase another dog. Her curmudgeonly owner hears only the disappearance of solitude.P1010478

After the Storm (Portland Japanese Garden, Rain)

P1060751Having missed the big petal storm

I settle for the pale glow of those cherry blossoms

still clinging to the their tree in the face of a steady rain

for the lovely fallen

glittering and wet.

forming new flowers on the tree’s understudies

and a carpet that I crush

on the way to the pond

where the wind has

scattered cherry blossoms

over waiting koi.